Twit Twit & More Twits?

Hi all,
Superstitions are funny things and in general I take no notice of them. But I couldn't help wondering if our next fishing trip would be a case of third time lucky.
If you've been following this fishing blog you will know that I've managed to get the rods out three times this year and the first two have been disasters. Not because I didn't catch any fish, but because I seem to be attracting fools. Perhaps I've got a friendly face, or perhaps I just look like I know all the best spots, but whatever it is, I wish it would go away and let me fish in peace.

Anyway, our third fishing session of the season arrived and we took off again to our usual venue; a big fishery with lots of big pools to chose from. However, given that on the previous two occasion we had picked large deserted pools, and then been surrounded by twits, we decided to have a change. At this venue there is a smallish pool that is left to nature and more like the ponds I used to fish when I was a teenager. It doesn't contain a lot of big fish; is surrounded by trees and is therefore ideal for the lonesome angler.

On the morning in question we decided to give this small pool a go as we though it probably wouldn't attract the big carp boys. As we drove along the track across the field to this out of the way pool we were disappointed to find a car already parked up. My wife's face looked gloomy and I knew what she was going to say before she opened her mouth. "What are we going to do now?"
I pulled our car up next to the one that was already there and said, "Hang on a minute, it might not be as bad as it seems". And with that remark I went to see if the person from the other car was on his own or with a mob. As it happened he was a lonesome angler and was siting quietly around the corner out of the way.

It was now 10am, so we should be alright we reckoned. We quickly got the tackle out of the car and I set up enthusiastically while my wife got comfortable with her book. I just finished plumbing the depth and had cast in for the very first time when a car pulled up next to ours. But wait, it didn't end their, as we sat there not believing this could happen it was followed by another one and then to put the top hat on it, a plumber's van pulled up with the radio blaring and an England flag sticking out of each corner.

Seven twits got out of those vehicles (I might have spelt that wrong) and noisily unloaded their tackle. Wherever the twits were going to fish from on this small pool wouldn't have mattered because our peace would be shattered. We just looked at each other and felt like giving up.
"I'm off," I said, and began tackling down. This is not a thing any angler likes to do even after sitting fishless for 5 hours, but to have to pack up before you've actually started fishing is a nightmare. The feeling is on a par with the one that you get when using the withdrawal method of contraception. What a silly concept that is and know doubt responsible for many unwanted babies.

Dejected and downhearted we packed the tackle back into the car and went to find another spot where we might have more luck in the peace and quite stakes. It was now after 10-30 so we also reasoned that anybody who was going fishing must now surely be in their chosen peg. We eventually found another spot in the corner of another pool and there wasn't a soul to be seen anywhere. This was what we wanted, perfect peace and quite and pool all to ourselves. I guess I'd been fishing for about ten minutes when a car pulled up on the lane behind the pool. We sat there doing impressions of Victor Medrew as another twit came and looked at the peg by me in the same corner. If he was hell bent on fishing this pool why couldn't he go and fish on one of the other sixty odd pegs the pool contained?

If he fished in the corner by me we'd be at 90 degree angles to one another so where was he going to cast? We were only about two rod lengths apart and I was casting straight out in front of me. "He can't be going to fish there," my wife said, "nobody would be that stupid." However, I could tell by the way he was eyeing the job up that that was where he was going to fish. I tried giving him the dirtiest look I could manage, but at the back of my mind I was thinking about the bloke who'd just run riot with a gun in Cumbria. Trouble is now-a-days, you don't know what you are up against.

Terry kept an eye on the the twit as he got his tackle from his car. "Guess what," she saya,
"What," I reply.
"The twits parked is car in the middle of the lane and that's where he's left it."
You might remember me telling you that a single track lane ran behind this pool and anglers were expected to park in the lay by at the side of it . This is where we'd parked, but said twit had just got out of his car and left it in the middle of the lane, all other drivers now had to go into the lay by and squeeze between our car and his to get past. He had in fact made his own chicane.

Anyway I won't bore you with too many details, the following will tell you what sort of angler this twit was. He set up with a large swim feeder that he'd filled with some concoction that he mixed in a big bowl and on his hook he had a piece of luncheon meat that was as big as a match box. There going to be a hell of a splash when that lot lands in the middle of the pool I thought, but there wasn't, and that was because he'd lobbed it up against the reeds right in the corner. I had a little chuckle to myself because I know that the water up against those reeds is only about six inches deep. Any carp that was capable of getting a quarter of a tin of spam in its mouth was going to have about a foot of back showing out of the water. He obviously hadn't read my book about fishing, that devotes a whole chapter to the importance of plumbing the depth.

Anyway, it was enough for me, fishing next to a proper angler is bad enough when they are that close, but siting that close to a maga twit isn't on. We packed up out tackle and moved again this time we didn't go in the car we just retired to another nearby pool. There was already an angler fishing this pool, so we respected his peace and positioned ourselves away from him. All stayed quite for what was left of the session and I even managed to catch a few fish.

Our problem now is that we have lost confidence in ever finding a nice quite spot to fish. I am even considering just taking our chairs and sitting in the countryside somewhere for a few hours. I won't catch any fish, but the peace and tranquility should be worth it.

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